I’m not talking about crushes. I’m talking about when two adult people meet and have an adult conversation about the development of their relationship and try to “solve” the problem they got into. We all know how uncomfortable uncertainty is. One way to build the bridge over this river of despair is to have a conversation like I did. With a very good friend of mine.
Somehow we got past the point of seeing each other as simply friends. You know what I mean: occasional look, occasional innocent sleepovers with neverending conversations about yourself, your dreams, your fears, and your desires. There was no kissing involved and there still is none present. But having a feeling of immense security with other human beings (that’s what I said to him) is just too big to be omitted from the great picture. And him saying “I’d never thought I’d care about you this much” or “I really did miss you” when I was gone for 3 days is, once again, something more than what friends tell each other.
Let me be frank: from time to time I considered being something more. But I was so afraid it’d ruin the friendship we have that I was so happy he brought the subject up. I was out of the country for 3 weeks and we were in daily contact. It wasn’t always nice, but some things from the past (especially my behaviour) had to be talked through. So we talked. Every single day. For 3 whole weeks. We never did it while being in the same city.
But back to the mature conversation we had. I’m not a great talker. But I was thinking deeply about what I could tell him. I forgot half the stuff, but feeling secure and safe with him was the most palpable and important for me. He, too, expressed his views on our relationship, he gave me pros and cons of my personality. And then…
…then we decided that we’ll leave it like it is. We’ll see how the things will or won’t develop and behave accordingly. If I wanted to hug him, I’d do it. If I was uncomfortable with him flirting around trying to find someone to date, I’d tell him. This works both ways.
In the end, as I have written in my earlier entrance, tags and labels do not matter to me. I do not like the expression best friend. I do not need to know whether or not we are a boyfriend and girlfriend. If we feel comfortable around each other and just enjoy the time we spend together, why make it official by putting a label on it? Some secrets need to stay secret, so only the two of you know what’s going on and how to make the most of it.