Even though my relationship experiences are not many, the ones I have can serve me quite enough. I’ve been dating this man with many wonderful features and characteristics. I even said to him, he’s quite a catch because he’s what many women look for. Let’s list what he has and how great it is.
He’s caring. He cares about you physical and psychological comfort. He buys you a pillow because it’s more comfortable to sleep on separate pillows than to share one. It doesn’t matter that your cervical vertebrae are in great discomfort and you fear a headache after every night spend there, it’s the thought that counts. He asks you whether you are happy with him. And don’t know how to answer….
He’s thoughtful. He brings you flowers to prove his love for you. He brings you the ones he is persuaded you like. Does it matter that he openly asked which flowers are of your taste? His directness might be surprising, but direct questions with direct answers are what he longs for.
He’s the tactile type. He touches your hair, your lips, kisses all of your body, hugs you, always has to touch you and from time to time you have a feeling that your guy just might be a reincarnated kitty. By these different touches he, again, proves how much he loves you.
He loves your body. He says you are perfect even if both of you know he is a terrible liar. And, sincerely, he just cannot lie. Nevertheless, he’s persuaded your body is almost what he wants, what he need, he caresses you, holds you in his arms to feel the warmth of you, to smell your body odour, to connect your body, your smell, your personality with the love he has for you.
He is ambitious. He has a real potential to change the world because his outlooks on the course of society are not very plausible. He is driven to change the society, to help people who are in similar conditions as his parents – hard-working people who don’t have money to spend on unnecessary material things. He wants to treat his country from poverty. He has the mind to do this – to write an extraordinary thesis where causes and consequences are brought together, they correlate and wants to the men in politics so they can work more efficiently. Some day he will be a great man.
He’s romantic. And I mean really romantic. He is the flower guy, the guy who speaks all the words the hopeless romantics want to hear: how beautiful you are, how amazing you are, how you are the best thing which might have happened to him, how all his past relationships had to fail so he could madly fall in love with you, just you, not anyone else. He makes you feel you are meant for each other regardless all the differences. How nothing could endanger and destroy what he feels for you.
He’s everything a woman can dream of.
But all coins have 2 sides. There are always pros and cons. Day and night. Agreements and quarrels.
He loves you more than you love him. He doesn’t cope well with being confronted about his behaviour. He’d physically and emotionally dependent on you. He needs to spend with you all his weekends. He wants you to speak more than you are capable of. He wants you to call him all the sweet names and you are perfectly OK with calling him darling and saying I love you. And you mean it. You never said, felt, or heard what he is saying, making you feel, what you hear. Never in your life. You were terrified you are losing yourself for him. You overcame this fear. You did so with the help of your mother. She said: ‘If you love someone, losing part of yourself is a great sacrifice, because you’ll get so much more. Don’t be afraid. I love you.’ She was right. But then, the worlds of your lover and you collided in a much more destroying way. He thinks your life dreams are unrealistic and wrong because a life spent travelling is not a life spent well. And you though he knew how much of a wanderer you are because you created a couple shortly after you 3 weeks of (almost solo) travels. He wants you to be realistic, even though you are pragmatic AF. You were the ration in the relationship. He was the emotion. He wants to change your very self to fit him more. To lose your sarcastic remarks, spending time alone, travelling alone, not feeling chatty or touchy some days. To love him more than you can. To show him love in ways which are uncomfortable to you. To make him the most important person in your life. To devote your life to him and think about future. But you live in the moment.
You are happy with him. You love him very much. You hurt him a lot. You are so confused.
Stay true to yourself and break it off or sacrifice yourself for his happiness?