One of my many concerns about friendship is how much information am I allowed to deliver from one friend to another without upsetting either of them. I do not mean like talking behind their backs and talking wrongly. Just simple chit-chats, something like He told me that….she wrote me that….I’ll show you a picture of them doing….
This stuff bothers me. This is enrooted I real situation:
Enjoying a nice evening with a couple of friends. We were talking about ourselves, mentioned our common friends, what went on in their lives. One of my girlfriends (not hanging out with us that night) had this thing going on with a boy. She told me stuff, asked for relationship advice (I am the one person you go to – we all know that the single people give single-handedly the best relationship advice!). I shared veeery little of this information, together with a photograph which was innocent (two people sitting next to each other) with the rest. She freaked the hell out and the text said: I’ll kill you.
I was taken aback and her reaction really startled me. I had that horrible feeling, that once again it was I who messed up, not her. I once again felt guilty and asked for forgiveness. It was given to me, but I paid by no other currency than by emotions.
I had a feeling I did nothing wrong, we had a good chuckle with the others and moved on with our evening. She wanted to dig deep and so she did.
But back to sharing: is there no sharing allowed when you want to discuss your experiences or conversations with someone else? How much is too much? Is showing a picture crossing the line?
You know, there are times when you cannot figure some of your friends’ behaviour out all by yourself. You need that second opinion. Other times even third. Maybe I’m just lousy at guessing and I do not know the borders. Maybe my friends are (over-)protective about their personal lives and want to share the info with just you. However, my common sense still hasn’t deteriorated and I use it from time-to-time. But it has that miraculous off switch once my boyfriend came around and ask those bloody nosey question. They are not bad. They just want to be part of the life you’re leading.
I won’t stop sharing the petty stuff. They make the conversations flowing, the time passing and create awesome associations with the lives of actual participants of the conversation. I’m a sharing person and do not mind my friend talking about me because I trust them (more or less) completely. Doubting them would do no good. I’d only hurt myself. And there’s enough pain in this world already.