Relationship

DO WE NEED LABELS?

As no relationship expert (see the previous entry), I feel I have the privilege, no the obligation! To write on the topic of labelling people depending on what’s going on between them. See how it works? The experts talking about the field they are interested in, but have no clue of the real deal! Nah, just kidding. I’m no expert, I just like to judge people based on their behaviour, look, facial expression and gestures. Sometimes I am so shallow, I wonder how the heck even got to such point.

Nevertheless, feeling the need to label people around me has long since passed.

If I like him and he likes me and we fool around are we in a relationship? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe you just like spending your precious time with someone of your blood type with the benefit of an occasional kiss or long hug or feeling of belonging.

I would like to be her boyfriend but her legs are open for more man. She lives by the saying: sharing is caring. But we kiss and almost slept together a couple of times and we hang around and she is the no. 1 kisser. Are we in a relationship? First of all, if she’s “open” for a couple of dudes at the very same time, I would not really consider her a good girlfriend material, even though she is hot, best kisser and your certain body parts go stiff as she brushes your arm. You don’t want to fall for her, yet you got deep enough to feel the good of her. Secondly, I thought guys didn’t need the reassurance of being or not being in a relationship until they long not only for the physical attachment but also when emotions get involved.

Do we need to tell people she is my boyfriend, he is my girlfriend, and she is my BFF….? Isn’t it enough that you care about that particular person so much you introduce them to your other friends, family, and the world of the Internet? Only once in my life, I called my friend best friend and it wasn’t even to her face. I was just retelling my story to another friend. When I read her the conversation I was so ashamed I couldn’t even start reading, for I felt so vulnerable.

But maybe my disgust with labelling comes with the uneasiness connected with heart stuff which comes with verbal expression of feelings. I don’t tell people I care about them, I don’t tell them I think of you. For crying out loud I event respond to my mums I LOVE YOU differently than by nodding or saying I know or just thanking her. I am a horrible daughter!

One guy told me I have so much emotional potential. That I am like an uncut diamond in a need for the man to refine me. To some extent, I agree. So many emotions are hidden under the “ugly” shell of scruples, of life traumas and unhealable wounds.

However, I want to stay uncut. With so many edges reflecting so many different shades, magnitudes, and the brilliance of my personality.

So, label if you need to feel secure, do not if it kills you inside. It all comes from within. The surface will sooner or later abrade. The real labels given by people of importance and by your most amazing self will come shining.

XOXO

IvuhaHa

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